Only 2 Follicles But They Are Good Ones, Apparently

Well. What a day. Went to the clinic for what I expected to be just a scan and now we are down to do egg collection on Tuesday. It happened so fast.

There are only 2 follicles which made me cry. There were 4 last time and that was considered low. In the old clinic she would not have recommended going ahead with just 2.

But they seem to see it different at the new place. They said they were good follicles - full size. They also said the fact that the follicles had grown to full size so quickly, in just a week, was a good sign. Meant they were good quality. H said he remembered the doctor saying she would be pleased with 2, and that just 2 would be good. The lovely nurse said the fact that both were the same size was a good thing too. Not 100% sure what it all means when people say all these things are good things but it doesn't hurt to have faith and believe them all I suppose.

The nurse was a godsend. At my last visit the nurse was quite cold and clinical and I just felt she was irritated at every question I asked, but thankfully this one was warm and caring and exactly what I needed. I wanted to take her home with me. keep her for all emergencies, in the spare room. A girl who had been in the waiting room with her mum at the same time as me, went in for her scan just after me. I had come out flabbergasted and confused about the egg collection, downhearted about the only 2 follicles thing, waiting to see the nurse. Then that same girl had come out to get her mum, dripping with tears. I recognised that expression so well, and how it had changed from just a few minutes before when we had been sat, with fear and hope, waiting for our scans, our updates - maybe our futures. Things can change so completely in such a short space of time.

Anyhow, it all started me off, and the nurse came out to find me dripping with tears too.

But rollercoaster moments. By the time I came out from seeing her I felt a lot better. The tears then returned when I phoned H and he didn't immediately pick up. I felt so lonely walking through London streets alone without anyone to share my thoughts with. I even started thinking about that girl's mum and how she had been there. It got better as soon as he did call back. But then I was dazed and so, so tired when I went to a pre-arranged meet with 2 old school friends. Nice sitting in the park in the sun but very unreal.

Now I am just so weary and stunned from it all. Worried about all the re-arranging I have to do as it all happened so fast, but trying to just go with it. Be passive. It's supposed to be good to be passive - your body is supposed to be more responsive that way.

I have managed to get myself an acupuncture appointment for the Monday which is good. I could probably do without the job interview on Monday morning but hey ho, maybe the distraction will be a good thing - on both counts. I can't see myself getting as nervous as I usually do about the interview this time. It is with the RSPCA. I like the sound of that. It would be wrong to pass the opportunity up.