Always Answer The Phone With a Big Smile

Amazing night last night. Went to see 2 breathtaking shows at the festival. The first a play about a strange but very tender and true love between a celebrated 19th Century poet and his maid. Unconventional and disapproved of by society but very real all the same. The second an 'urban' circus - a group of streetkids from Colombia fusing bonkers acrobatics, intoxicating dance and mind-blowing stunts with a zestful, sexy swagger. Both were life-affirming. I came home feeling great.

It is so great to feel great and un-burdened by this treatment thing. I can't help but compare things a bit with last time. A year ago (almost) on our first round of IVF. Part of me thinks it is all completely different now, this time. I am going out rather than hiding away, I don't feel so broken. I am temping locally and by-and-large enjoying it rather than exhaustingly hiking to work in London for ludicrous shift patterns plus all the politics and stress of fitting in my treatments around work. Yes, at times it feels like it is all much better now.

But then again, there is this doubt saying: 'Really? Is it Really so different?' There was a period of great darkness followed by a period of hope last year too. I remember feeling good during the drug taking and lead up to collection and transfer too. We were being proactive. I was happy. Maybe it all is a recurring pattern.

I had a good day today too. Lovely acupuncture session this morning then on my way home I got a call from the temping agency saying they needed someone for a few hours this afternoon. It was in a plastic surgery clinic. Intriguing. There were lots of Buxom blondes come to check up on their breast enlargement. A few more unexpected types too - overweight ladies with walking sticks coming for skin treatment. Perhaps they needed something to make them feel happier, better with themselves.

I did not have to do much, except dress up. Or so the agency woman said. She made a big deal about telling me I had to do my hair and put on nail varnish and wear a black suit. I even felt panicked about it. I don't have a black suit. I have been told black clashes with my skin tone. I wore what I think is smart, office-y grey skirt, white Gap shirt and high heels. Had quite a job tottering down there in heels. Then got there and felt very overdressed. That patronising whatsit agency woman talking rubbish at me. What did she think? I was going to turn up in jeans?

Anyway it didn't matter. All I had to do apparently is 'Be lovely to everyone'. There was a lot of emphasis on 'being lovely' there. Even a sign which said 'Answer the phone with a big smile'. I enjoyed bathing in all the loveliness for an afternoon. Feeling all sunny and 'We are here to help' -ish. Maybe if I am in need someday I will go and get a nose job - just to bask in the loveliness some more.