I got ridiculously anxious yesterday before going to a friend's bbq for the World Cup England vs USA game. Should have been a nice thing. See a nice group of friends, be cooked for, have much needed fun. But I got all worked up about whether to go or not, and none of my concerns made any sense, not even to me.
I realise now I didn't want to face people after the failed IVF. Tell them, see their sympathetic looks, confront it in any way. One nice friend just said she was sorry and I found that I couldn't even respond to her or acknowledge her comment in anyway. I filled up with tears and started asking her about something else, something about her life. Talking really fast as if that would make it all go away.
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I'm sorry that you are still in such a low place. It sounds like you really need some support from others.
ReplyDeleteI've passed on some links to you in a previous comment, so I won't do that here. I just want to tell you that setting aside a place of, or time to feel, emotions is important. Having those negative emotions, and giving yourself over to them, is your right. It's what reminds you that you exist. Hit a low, gather your strength and fight your way back to a better place.
I wish you better,
Lisa