Touch

Overwhelmed with tiredness tonight so went to bed leaving H watching Lethal Weapon. Woke several hours later alone and knew he had fallen asleep on the sofa. Found him laughing in his dreams. 'Toot Toot' he said like a steam engine. But my prescence nudged him awake and he stumbled after me and it was so soothing to feel his gentle leg wrapped around mine.
I realise when this sort of thing happens how much I rely on our cuddles. Even the gentle entanglement of our limbs seems to soothe me like a magic comfort blanket into calmness. I think during all the horror of the past couple of years, when there have been times of great distance between us and violent, impossible, unbearable rages from both of us, it was cuddles that saved us. Even when sex became pressure, somehow we still had that other form of touch.