Kindness of a Stranger

The last few months have been resplendent with tears. I still do not understand it all but it seems we are moving forward now with a few scars.

There have been many days of walking and crying alone. Turning up to friends doorsteps in that state stopped being helpful. It was a state of mind I needed to deal with on my own. Save seeing friends for when I wanted to have fun or chats or be in life again. I can maybe talk about some of the tears in retrospect but I don't want to be seen as the forever crying friend, or be the forever crying friend.

There was one stranger who entered my solo space, though, who I will never forget.

After a yoga class, on the way to see a friend for coffee, I walked down by the sea. Something about the wild waves, twinkling sun and families having picnics made this wave of anguish overcome me from nowhere. I was crippled up, and found myself hunched up on a doorstep not knowing how to stop it, how to move on.

She came up and said "breathe this!". She held out a small silver perfume bottle. "Breathe deeply," she said, "have a squirt of this."

Puzzled, I nodded. She squirted, I breathed. I cried. It was all repeated. I may or may not have smiled thank-you. She said, "Go down on the beach and throw stones into the water. Really throw them. Really hard."

I staggered down. Felt a bit of a fool. But threw those stones. And felt calmer.

I don't know if she saw me.

I had a nice, normal chat with my friend.